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In Love and Lonely

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Thursday, June 22nd, 2006
10:20 pm - haven't updated in 2 months..here i go
welp i'm going to state alot of obvious things in my life right now:
cody and i just had our two months yesterday
i went back to grand rapids 2 days ago for a show with my best friends, and im very homesick of that place
all i do is work. i'm doing 60 hours next week
im going to a goo goo dolls concert on my 3 months.
im getting kicked out of my house, so i will be moving to port huron in july or sooner.
i don't have many friends anymore except the ones in port huron cuz i have zero social life anymore
umm yeah...

i guess that's about it...


current mood: depressed

(1 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Monday, October 3rd, 2005
10:10 am
if you are going to be a fuckin douche bag to me
and delete my comment and block me from being your friend
and use me(which you did completely)
and make most of my days here in grand rapids so far pretty shitty
and ignore me basically when i come to visit

you can fuckin rot in hell cuz i dont need an asshole like you in my life.

and to think i had a crush on you before...
definetly must have lost my mind during that time.

i hate to admit when charlie is right
and he was right when he said last night that i was getting sick
i sound like a frog and i feel like poop
went to rite aid
and i felt like dying going up the hill
i hate film
the lady didnt even know when i would get my pictures back
this is why i use digital!!
photographers have zero patience these days to see their pictures
i wish i had something to make me feel better
maybe i will ask one of the boys to make me green tea or soup later on
even tho i hate green tea, it looks like it makes everyone feel better
im missing two of my three classes today cuz i really cant even move after walking
i shouldve never went
so im staying in bed til i have to take my exam
hopefully im better by then or im a lost cause

someone come and take care of me

(1 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

12:17 am
homecoming pixCollapse )

(7 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Wednesday, September 28th, 2005
11:04 pm

pictures of my lovesCollapse )

(6 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Monday, September 5th, 2005
4:10 pm - i didnt make a cut cuz i wanted all to seeeee


im pretty >.<

(17 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005



i heart eric anthony swatsworth for doing to most random shit ever.

sheesh to think i went out with a mad man! :p hah

(8 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
9:32 pm
i dread tomorrow
its what ive been fearing all week.

i would like to be buried with:
my guitar
my heart track jacket
a pack of cigarettes
make up to at least make me look halfway decent from the murder
and obviously
my camera.

current mood: scared

(take a turd ticket)

Friday, July 29th, 2005
11:03 pm

i wish to be as beautiful as christina somedayCollapse )

current mood: content

(9 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Saturday, July 23rd, 2005
11:50 pm
i cant thank you enough for EVERYONE who has been here for me tonite
it has been unbelieveable how many people actually care
even people out of state!
and thats just rediculous
but thank you all for the support and love

i still dont know what is going on with my dad
i havent heard anything from my mom yet
and i cant call cuz you arent supposed to have phones in the hospital
they might be there all night
for once in my life
i really hope the best for my dad though
ive wished so many bad things upon him
things i never shouldve said no matter how much i dont get along with him
he has to pull through this, no matter what it is
i really hope its something stupid like an allergic reaction
just so we can laugh about it later...

i was really having a rough time an hour or two ago though
i had an anxiety attack again
and i was on the floor having a fit and my chest hurt a ton
but im doing alot better now
and i especially want to thank goran
hes the only one who took my mind off of what was happening tonite
we just drew alot of pictures and he distracted me the most he could
i like him alot
in a really short period of time
and thats scary

but again, i really love you all so much.
thank you all for the concerns, care and love you sent this way in the last few hours.
i will keep you all updated when i find out anything.

<3 always,

(1 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Thursday, July 21st, 2005
3:40 pm - for you skank
this is my 74th post this month
and its all dedicated to jay lovelady
who apparently keeps track on his calculator
how many times i make posts every month.


(3 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
1:28 am
i am shelly.
and shelly is me.
we understand each other completely.
no one understands at all.

because we...

play the game.

(take a turd ticket)

Friday, July 1st, 2005
9:44 am

yesterdays memories in todays picturesCollapse )

(1 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Thursday, June 30th, 2005
2:25 am
oh my god
my grad party is going to get out of control!!!!
200+ people
and sD is now advertising on myspace
so thats another 30-40 people
and i never said forever wants to play now again
so thats yet another 30-40 people
but now martin and scotts band cant play

holy hell its going to be insane
thank god i live by no one and have a big lawn

i changed my tongue ring tonite
and its so much easier to eat now
and its sweet looking
hot pink and blue stripes tee hee

(take a turd ticket)

Monday, June 27th, 2005
9:08 am

this weeks picture updateCollapse )

(3 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Thursday, June 2nd, 2005
10:13 pm - roll one out on me
ok, this is your one chance.

post your comment Anonymously, and tell me something you really want to say to me, but couldnt say to my face.


this is your one chance to let it out.

i wont know its you, but the message will be there.

go ahead.

DO IT!!!

i know you want to so just say it

and i wont check IP's. you have my word.
your safely secret.

(3 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
8:14 pm
when i FINALLY find out
when and where the goo goo dolls concert is
when i find out it is july 10th

if anyone is smart enough to figure out what that date is
it is the day of my grad party
fuck the grad party!!

oh unholy days.

how i love you goo goo dolls.

(4 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Monday, May 30th, 2005
11:21 pm - pUbic post. i mean public.
i really need to stop making public posts
cuz i mean it IS friends only come on now kids
but i will do this one again
give something for jenn to read
anyhwo keepin this short
kevins was fun tonite
me, him and christina got in a BIG ass kickin fight
and i bleeded blood
this week is going to be crazy
this weekend was crazy
best memorial weekend ever
i start driving the barney mobile in two days
i miss kiddies from school
to end this post

i like a new boy.

(4 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
11:47 am
kirk dumped me.

(7 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Monday, May 2nd, 2005
2:27 pm
me and kirk are fighting
over his god damn hair.
wtf honestly.


ps-brandon hackleberg gives the sweetest back massages

(4 turd bombers | take a turd ticket)

Saturday, April 30th, 2005
2:02 pm - why must it be when the music starts you grasp onto my heart
30th of April,
Seems like yesterday,
Bought a house above the ocean
Where our kids could laugh and play.

I called you from Paris,
To tell you that I
Wrote our names on the observation deck
Of the Eiffel Tower.

Remember those nights?
Playing "Summer Wind" on the jukebox of the bar we used to go.
We made out in the bathroom, and you walked me to my house.
I tried to convince you not to go home.

If only I had more time,
I'd take you where you wanted to go.
Italy isn't the same without you here.

If only I had one wish,
I'd want a million trillion life times
That I could spend with you.
Fall in love with you again and again.


first love=first hate

(this was a way for me to vent, cuz i just heard that ataris song on the radio and i needed to let some old feelings out)

i hate the way you were my best friend
i hate the way you changed your image
i hate how we could no longer talk
because i wasnt high enough social status
i hate the way you looked at me
that night we spent together
i hate the way i cant turn on my light
because you made it flicker on and off
i hate the way i had to rip down my cds from my ceiling
because i could no longer look at them
for the reminder of when you spinned them to make them look like stars
i hate the way i cant eat reeses
because they remind me of the one time
you ate one for me even when you hate chocolate
and you threw up
i hate the way you pop your collar
because you think its the new trend
i hate the way you sang lfo
when we were lying in my bed
i hate the bubble fights we had
and the bets on who could keep their hand on the burner longer
i hate the way you gave me your bracelets
just to make me smile
i hate all the mornings you sat with me in the hall
i hate how we named my cd player after you
and your man purse after me
because whenever i listen to my cd player
i just always think of you and me
i hate the way you ruined my favorite bands
all i get is tears in my eyes
i hate the way you abandoned all your good friends
just to be popular
1..2...3...4 years
no one was by your side that long
all the pretty girls come and go
you say they lie and cheat
but you are the cheatee
and tried to get me to cheat on my once boyfriend
but i was faithful
even though i have only loved you
i hate the way you saved me
from the monster on the haunted hayride
you said "back off..she is mine.."
i hate how i was there guiding you along
you dont remember me
no longer see me
except as another girl now
it hurts inside
i know it forever will
hopefully i will see you once again
the old you
the one i fell in love with
and could spend the rest of my life with
goodbye farewell
we will always have tiger lilies and the 30th of april

current mood: sad

(take a turd ticket)

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